Shifts in life do not come easy.
It has been three months since my husband and I moved to Goa from Delhi. The last time we shifted homes was in 2004, and now we recall how long it took us to settle in.
Shifting takes time. We have to shift ourselves—our bodies, minds, spirits, and belongings—sometimes one at a time and sometimes all at once. The 2004 move was different, as we moved into a large home that was custom-built for us by the architects in my family. It was a much larger home than the previous one, and it took us quite a while to settle in. The generous size of the house meant we filled it with furniture, artwork, and artefacts on three floors. We had a large basement and housed belongings of friends who came in and out of our lives.
This time, we are downsizing. It is a right-sizing because it is the right size for the two of us. But we still have a lot of stuff, even though we gave away quite a bit. The fundamental shift is getting used to the idea that we need less and are slowly moving in that direction. We need fewer clothes, less crockery, cutlery, glassware, furniture—less of everything.
I struggled with shifting into the new space as I tried duplicating what I had in the last home. Slowly, I realised I did not have to do that. I had a choice. I still have to give away many things. We ask our new neighbours if they would like something. We gave away a table parked on the veranda; they now use it outdoors. The same neighbour would like a large cupboard on the back veranda. My sister’s friend and her friend are moving into a home nine doors down from us. I walked them around the house, offering various pieces of furniture. They were delighted. So are my husband and me.
Entertaining has taken on a new meaning. Previously, when we invited people over, we had our full-time staff to prepare, serve and clean up. Now, it is just the two of us, and we have moved to doing tea.
I have taken to making sandwiches. I cannot even remember the last time I made sandwiches when people came over. When I was growing up, sandwiches were a big part of our lives. They were delicate offerings of white bread with fillings of egg salad, chicken, chutneys, cucumbers, and tomatoes. Proper teas. The sandwiches were wrapped in delicately embroidered four-cornered cotton pieces that were wetted so they would not dry out. The sandwiches were then laid on them, and the four corners were folded over.
I had several of these sandwich covers. Before moving, I gave them away but kept one. So, I decided to start using it. I am enjoying my sandwich-making time.
The white bread baked by the local bakery encouraged all this. I had practically given up white bread, but it does make good sandwiches.
Shifting also means discovering new things and new experiences. My husband and I are enjoying the local brews, urak and feni, both made from cashews and coconuts. They are drunk with soda or Sprite, ice and a twist of lime. I like mine on the rocks. Since they are locally produced, they are available in informal ways through those who make them.
I am shifting from having plants in the front, back and the terrace of our last house. A few herbs, which I like to use in cooking, some lovely aromatic jasmine plants, a few roses and two adenium plants. I had previously bought two creepers, and they are doing fine. I realised this is all I can manage.
A couple from Nepal maintains the outdoors and common area of the complex of thirty-four homes, of which only twenty are occupied 365 days a year. They do not have time to take care of my plants, and I do not want to hire a gardener for such a small collection. I ordered a watering can and inaugurated it today.
And joy of joys. A month ago, I planted a chilli plant. A few days ago, I noticed a red chilli snuggling up against the wall.
The jasmine plants are producing flowers profusely. I pick a few every morning, as do the neighbours. They serve as the posy, which I place on the island in the kitchen.
I am OK having less artwork on the walls and fewer artifacts in spaces such as tables and cupboards. Most of these have been put away, and I do not miss them. Slowly, I will start giving them away.
We are shifting away from having too much of everything. And that feels good. We eat breakfast, the only meal we eat regularly. Lunch and dinner are more impromptu with what is in the refrigerator. Leftovers of meals cooked or eaten out. Over the years, I have veered towards becoming a snack person. This could be fruit, cheese, or savouries. When we go out to eat alone or with friends, I like to order the starters as they have more variety than the main dishes on the menu. Fortunately, most people we eat out with move in the same direction.
Shifting is good because we often get stuck in our routines, habits, and thoughts. It is good to evaluate our lives occasionally and check whether they are working for us. If not, then shift.
I am enjoying this period of transition in my life. I am enjoying the shifts. Very much.